Got it.

Little things make me happy. I've got it. Everything is simple, really. No need to complicate anything. I don't need anything. I just need to know how to make myself happy. I don't know why I had to be told. 

I'm excited for this weekend. I feel like it has a lot of potential to be really memorable, as cliche as that sounds. I think the rest of this summer has a lot of potential and this next school year has a lot of potential and I'm so excited. It's hard to explain why I'm so hopeful right now, but it's good. Because really, all I can do sometimes is try, and that's good. 

I'm thinking of getting these huge ridiculous glasses frames filled with my prescription. Because you know what? I like them. And they make me happy. So I should do it, right? Why has it been so difficult to figure out what makes me happy? I don't understand. 

It's just so simple, I can't explain it. And yeah, maybe people make me mad and stuff, but it's simple. It's all simple. I don't know why I worry so much. It doesn't help. 

So, I guess this is me trying to say thank you, for opening my eyes to all this. If you read this. Because things are better now. Thanks.

Here Goes Nothing.

It's a wonder how comforting old friends are. They have this uncanny ability to make everything a lot more simple and make all things good things. Because it's just a good feeling to know some things will never change.

Oh, and I have officially found the cutest music video ever. You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift. I hate country music, but honestly, it's adorable. It makes my heart hurt. You know?

I don't really know what's going on in the world. People have been acting so dodgy lately. I truly do not understand. Why can't anyone be honest or anything? Nobody wants to admit anything and they just dance around the truth. It's so stupid. High school is so stupid. I wish everyone would grow up. Shoot.

Two hours of sleep, not feeling well, I don't really care. I'm going to reread some more Harry Potter and just kick it. You know?

I hope so.

Maybe sometimes soon I'll be able to say what I really mean, but for now, this will do.

Not a lot.

Went on vacation. It went like this: Yosemite, Reno, Rafting, Reno, Tahoe, Reno, Sacramento, SONIC, Home. It was nice. Now I'm home, which is relaxing, yet irritating, because I'm not really sure who I'm happy to see. And by not really sure, I mean I know exactly who I'm happy to see and exactly who's presence I'm dreading.

I'm really having trouble grasping the concept of how selfish everyone is. It's quite frustrating, really. I'm attempting to reach that sort of apathy social coma, where you don't even care anymore, but it doesn't seem to work to well. It's like, with a gold fish, how if you give it a bigger aquarium, it gets bigger and bigger, but if you put it back in the smaller one, it doesn't go back. You can't really blind yourself to things after you've opened your eyes to them.

Things I am not excited for ;

Seeing certain people.

My birthday.

School.

Not going to Oregon.

Things I am excited for ;

Warped Tour.

Owl City.

Shopping for school supplies.

Pending ;

Blink 182.

Seeing certain people.

There's not a lot to say sometimes. I get pretty disappointed, and don't really know how to express it without feeling worse. 

Cleaning out my room is a much bigger task than I had anticipated. I have a lot of stuff. I guess what I'm really saying is that I wish I was a wizard so I could use magic. How sad.

Nobody reads this.

Back to the Middle.

Today was today. Just a day. Tuesday, to be exact. I could have gone to Baskin Robins in the evening to go get some $1 ice cream, but I just stayed home. Because I guess home can be where the heart is, on occasion.

I am completely infatuated with Europe right now, and I can't figure out why. I guess in Britain they don't really fancy you if you're from the States. Which kind of bums me out. But isn't California better than the rest of America, to an extent? I surely hope so. Because that is, after all, where I reside.

Oh, and I got a new little thing on my page, so you can follow me on Twitter. Get at that. I was amused by it, so I'm sure someone else out there has to. But who reads this anyways?

I'm leaving on Thursday for a little family vacation. I have high hopes. And velvet ropes, if we're speaking in song titles. Which no one does. 

I'm making some wishes and things. I really hope they come true. How do you ensure that wishes come true? Is that a legitimately successful form of attempt to get what you want? I hope so.

Whatever. I'm not in ranting mode right now. Santi.

It's Up to You.

It's not a big deal. Not every little thing is a big deal. General society has given us the idea that being over dramatic will help us get what we want. I don't understand why everyone has to make things into things they're not. This is hypocritical, because I do it too, but I mean, seriously. Nobody even bothers to ask things anymore. It's just empty assumptions followed by harsh words or somethings. Seriously. Nothing is as big a deal as you make it. Nothing is as big a deal as anyone makes it, I swear.

I want a hedgehog for my birthday. I hope my sister gets on that. Shoot.

Seriously, some nice people make it worth it to deal with all the crap that comes with everyone else. I just don't understand why can't everyone try to be awesome and chill? I guess that's also a hypocritical statement, because I doubt I am either one of those, but you know? Some people are just genuine, honest, amazing people. And I totally dig it.

Realizations aren't always great though. 

If you interview a seashell, he'll tell you all about the sea. I promise.

I need a reason to do something brilliant. I don't know.

A Touch Of.

Hello Sunday.  Sorry, God for not going to church. It doesn't make me a bad person, not going to church, does it? It doesn't mean I have bad morals or anything. I just wasn't raised going to church, and I'm not really sure what to believe sometimes. I guess, God, if you are there, you'll understand, right? 

And I feel bad. Because sometimes I get really sad and everyone wants to know why, but I don't have anything to say. So I just start crying a little bit and can't say anything, because I'm not sure what's wrong. Because, honestly, if I could tell you what's wrong, I would. But I can't and I just feel bad and apologize, but I just kind of dig myself into a hole because nobody believes me. I just don't know how to be happy, sometimes. Sorry.

Maybe I have unreal expectations. Or maybe it's just hard to say what I want. Because it kind of makes me uneasy. You know? Unreal expectations for my life are my own personal failures. Or goals. I can't figure it out. I'm so young, they can't be failures yet. Because I don't have wrinkles and I don't feel I shouldn't try. I just don't know what to do. Telling people they make you happy isn't easy. Because what if they leave, you know? I'm young. I'm new at this whole thing. I mean, I've never been in love, or been in a hot air balloon, or left the country, or seen a shooting star, or broken a bone, and there's so much left for me to do. But I don't know what to do, or how. I'm just a little lost. 

This is stupid. Don't listen to a word I've said, really.

Out Here.

I don't know. Maybe things A R E N ' T changing for the better. Some things have gotten worse. I've opened my eyes to a lot of things, I guess you could say. It's kind of a bummer.

The Fourth of July was really fun. It kind of made me realize that I should take time to enjoy the little things. Like the coast and when my family gets along and my good friends and getting a little dressed up for no reason. As cliche as that sounds. Sometimes the little things are the ones that count.

I've been having really crazy dreams lately. And I can't find a reason why. It's interesting, seriously. Sometimes I wish I had TiVo for my dreams. How dumb.

Whatever. Summer is almost half over.

Hopefully things will start to look up.

It's Been a While.

So, hello there, I guess.

School is done, it's summer. I'm so very glad, minus the fact that I'd much prefer the cold over the heat. A lot of my friendships have changed over the last month or so, but I guess it may be for the better, only time will tell, really. 

I'm going to ;

Warped Tour ; August 20th

Blink-182 ; September 13th

Owl City ; October 19th

I'm excited. A lot of things are changing this summer, hopefully for the better. I'm never really sure of anything, but for now you could say I'm chasing the wind. I don't really have a lot to say, I'm sorry. Maybe tomarrow I'll be a little more eloquent. 

Fingers crossed, of course.