A Touch Of.

Hello Sunday.  Sorry, God for not going to church. It doesn't make me a bad person, not going to church, does it? It doesn't mean I have bad morals or anything. I just wasn't raised going to church, and I'm not really sure what to believe sometimes. I guess, God, if you are there, you'll understand, right? 

And I feel bad. Because sometimes I get really sad and everyone wants to know why, but I don't have anything to say. So I just start crying a little bit and can't say anything, because I'm not sure what's wrong. Because, honestly, if I could tell you what's wrong, I would. But I can't and I just feel bad and apologize, but I just kind of dig myself into a hole because nobody believes me. I just don't know how to be happy, sometimes. Sorry.

Maybe I have unreal expectations. Or maybe it's just hard to say what I want. Because it kind of makes me uneasy. You know? Unreal expectations for my life are my own personal failures. Or goals. I can't figure it out. I'm so young, they can't be failures yet. Because I don't have wrinkles and I don't feel I shouldn't try. I just don't know what to do. Telling people they make you happy isn't easy. Because what if they leave, you know? I'm young. I'm new at this whole thing. I mean, I've never been in love, or been in a hot air balloon, or left the country, or seen a shooting star, or broken a bone, and there's so much left for me to do. But I don't know what to do, or how. I'm just a little lost. 

This is stupid. Don't listen to a word I've said, really.