Looking.

"You're only as tall as your heart will let you be, and you're only as small as the world will make you seem."

I'm really starting to open my mind. I feel like redecorating and my birthday and the new school year a good starts for big things. I hope. I really truly hope so. 

But I don't really have a chance sometimes. My mother tells me to get motivated, but I don't know what to use as motivation. How do you get started without a push? I just have so much going on in my head. I'm trying to get going, because I need it, I need to motivate myself to do something or anything for that matter, because I feel like I'm running in place right now. 

Not to say that I'm not happy. Because really, I have people that make me happy, and I have things to look forward to, I just feel like I need to get going. I need something, or someone to give me that first push. And I feel like I'm getting on this really late in my life, even though I'm still young. I feel like everyone is going going going on their way to somewhere and I'm still at the starting line waiting for it all to begin. 

I feel like anything could be the start of something wonderful. Like an eclipse or an epiphany or a bold dream or a person or anything. Because I've got my whole life ahead of me. We've got our whole lives ahead of us, right?

Daydreaming and being a smartass is going to get me in a whole lot of trouble one day, I swear.